Confusion Aficionado Gifts

Way In, Way Out, No Way Out.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Desert Island BBQ

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

'Amazing, Holmes! That's the eighth time in a row you've gotten the 'dud'!'

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

Houdini.

'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

Mass Confucian

"The madness started with the cow and spread to the others."

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

The Hypnotato,

Oops! Basketball Game Interrupted

A turkey displays a deck of cards.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'We know the elephant died when he jumped off the roof. But the other guy? It's a mystery.'

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

Houdini's Dog.

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

Why do we have pistols? I thought we were back-to-back to see who is taller!

"Oh, yes—do come in!"

Riding School: Horse eating a compendium.

The Da Vinci Code Bookstore.