Misunderstanding Aficionado Gifts

'I can't be overdrawn, silly -- I have free checking!'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

"No, I don't have a sick cat."

Why do we have pistols? I thought we were back-to-back to see who is taller!

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

"I'm not the man you married...you live next door."

'Hi, Mr. Back... you asked me to call you...'

'Oh it's not what it looks like... We're lawyers!'

"We're not that kind of SWAT team, ma'am."

Desert Island BBQ

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

Adult Absence Notes.

Houdini.

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

Belated Birthday Cards

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

A turkey displays a deck of cards.

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

Barry Cryer.

The Hypnotato,

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hang on, I'll Google it.

"I think it is most admirable," said Alice, "that you gave up a thriving law practice to be with this lovely child."

Houdini's Dog.

'It's big and it's yellow.'

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

"The working title needs work."

Paddlithic Period