Farewell Aficionado Gifts

"Could you access your online dictionary for the definition of 'sayonara'?"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Sitting in a tree

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

Driverless cars rage.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Valentine Day

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

'Wow, talk about genius!'