Mundane Aficionado Gifts

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. Then you'll finish up a report on whether your client's edgy new marketing tactics have been resonating with the 18-34 demographic. The results will be inconclusive and your boss will say, 'Jared, there'll always be another Instagram-based influence strategy to review,' but she also takes a while to approve your annual leave request and you will suspect that the two are related."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Raheem Sterling

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Mohamed Salah

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

'Ok - I'm reaching out!'

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

Snowman Football Fan.

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

'As avid soccer player, Roy head-bumps his playing partner's ball in for a birdie.'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

Emmanuel Macron and Angela Merkel.

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

Br... No Exit

Maastricht - "Looks like a storm coming."

Welcome to our meeting!

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

'That's Thompson. Best goalie we've ever had.'

Sisyphus

"Let's dig into that. When did you first start feeling like you lost the will to not live?"

Barry Cryer.

"I only hope we're distrusted in a specific and limited way."

Senor Bean or Mr. Zapatero, I presume?

David Cameron's Diplomatic Marathon