Mundanity Enthusiast Gifts

"Recycling has become the high point of my week."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Bigfoot"

Glance Exchange

Extreme Sisyphus

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"Who's next?"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

"Valet park only"

One way only.

"It's my helper trout!"

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"I like fountains very much!"

'You need some stress.'

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Man guarding a written border.

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

"Bad dog!"

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."