Mundanity Enthusiast Gifts

"Recycling has become the high point of my week."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Extreme Sisyphus

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Who's next?"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Valet park only"

One way only.

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"It's my helper trout!"

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

"I like fountains very much!"

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'You need some stress.'

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

Nikolai Gogol

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

"Bad dog!"

Man guarding a written border.

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."