Absurdity Enthusiast Gifts

'No... It's too heavy, lads. We need the forklift truck.'

"Keep moving, keep moving"

'We decided to borrow the whole bank.'

'Ouch! Boy, just try finding a needle in a haystack when you want to!'

"I like fountains very much!"

"I don't think we've time for a risk-reward analysis."

'If his chart dips down to 15 here, he'll start emitting a hellish, non-stop squeal.'

Self Service Loan

"Return this bag of hornets to the shareholders."

'Present this report in the meeting, take a breath and then come back to update me.'

"This one to your liking, sir?"

'Do you have an appointment, sir?'

A shark swims into a desert island.

Jeremy Always Seemed to End Up Sitting Next to the Nutter.

Dr. Godot's waiting room.

Sugar Cube Machine

At least it doesn't appear to be a case of senseless violence.

Homeopathic trousers.

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Here's that recipe you wanted."

"Oi! - Two meeters! - Two metres!"

Help! I'm being kept prisoner.

Notice on desert island - sand for sale

Idiots guide to being an idiot.

'Serving pyranose from his buskin left some paly.'

'Dogs who chased their tails...And caught them.'

"You don't often see mirages like that."

'Oh Great. We just missed the once a millennia bus out.'

Castaway: 'With interest, my bank account is worth $5000! Enough to buy me a brand new Cadillac!'

'It's bad enough that the stupid cruise ship didn't pick us up...'

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

Puppy Turds (just 50 cents! Wow!)

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

"'Tis but a flurry."

Hallucination Society Notice: You are Not Here