Absurdity Enthusiast Gifts

'No... It's too heavy, lads. We need the forklift truck.'

"Keep moving, keep moving"

'We decided to borrow the whole bank.'

"I don't think we've time for a risk-reward analysis."

"I like fountains very much!"

'Ouch! Boy, just try finding a needle in a haystack when you want to!'

Jeremy Always Seemed to End Up Sitting Next to the Nutter.

A shark swims into a desert island.

"Return this bag of hornets to the shareholders."

'Present this report in the meeting, take a breath and then come back to update me.'

"This one to your liking, sir?"

Self Service Loan

'Do you have an appointment, sir?'

Castaway: 'With interest, my bank account is worth $5000! Enough to buy me a brand new Cadillac!'

At least it doesn't appear to be a case of senseless violence.

Idiots guide to being an idiot.

'Serving pyranose from his buskin left some paly.'

'Dogs who chased their tails...And caught them.'

"You don't often see mirages like that."

'Oh Great. We just missed the once a millennia bus out.'

Hallucination Society Notice: You are Not Here

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

Puppy Turds (just 50 cents! Wow!)

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

"'Tis but a flurry."

Glance Exchange

'I know it doesn't look like much, but have you ever been shot in the face with a p****d off cat?'

"The computer accidentally charged you $12,974 for your meal. The good news is we can get that changed within a year or two."

Desert Island

Man guarding a written border.

Notice on desert island - sand for sale

Homeopathic trousers.

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Here's that recipe you wanted."

Sugar Cube Machine