Absurdity Aficionados Gifts

"I'm not here to rescue you. I'm selling tidal wave insurance"

Humpty Dumpty is on a wall in front of a firing squad.

"Although banned in 1948, the art of target holding is still practiced among some traditionalists."

A man throwing his brain into a recycling bin

"Stupid squirrel! This happens every time we let the dog drive."

Man on stilts faces horse and rider on stilts

'I've misplaced my keys to the kingdom.'

'It seems I got only ten demerit points.'

Friday night at the highly illegal flea fights in La Paz, Bolivia.

Finally, after millions of years, evolution solves mankind's smoking problem.

"I'm sorry, you didn't get the job....but you got second place!"

Desert Sunbathing

"The desert is now closing. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."

Alice in Wonderland - Duchess Nursing a Baby

The hovering ghost of gum

I'm sorry, Miss, Axel isn't here right now, but

You have reached the halfway point in your wait time. To hang up now would be foolish. However, to stay on the line would be equally foolish, since we lied about your wait time.

The Logic of Lesser Evilism

"I made a nice zucchini bread."

"It's something new, it's a hat-top."

"Mr. Hazlett is in conference right now. Would you care to see his evil twin?"

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Tourists and their Pets.

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Glance Exchange

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Bigfoot"

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Extreme Sisyphus

Optimist

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Zoo: No Hunting.