Absurdity Admirers Gifts

"There you are. I've been looking all over for you."

I shouldn't have eaten the whole hamster wheel. My stomach's been churning all morning.

No caption. (Two men are crawling in the desert. Between them stands a traffic sign depicting a person crawling).

'We're screwed. Three Flashing Furillos eloped with Tribada Trio!'

The Ballad of Wooly Pete

'Don't tell me, they've chucked you out of the archery club.'

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

Foolishly,the invisible man accepted the blindfold.

'Some good news! Any of you in this layoff who become homeless, we will lend you bus fare to warmer climes!'

"I still say it's a napalm tree."

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"Looks like you'd better cancel poker night.

"Seriously, you have to stop getting up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water."

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Tourists and their Pets.

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

"Bigfoot"

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Extreme Sisyphus

Optimist

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Valet park only"

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Who's next?"

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'