Conundrum Connoisseur Gifts

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Sculptor's chippings

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

Bleak House

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"Cat got your tongue?"

C Day Lewis.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Mass Confucian

Man in bookstore is looking at a large section of books devoted to stock market crash predictions.

Euro crisis: abandon ship.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."