Conundrum Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Sculptor's chippings

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

Charles Dickens.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Cat got your tongue?"

Bleak House

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Man in bookstore is looking at a large section of books devoted to stock market crash predictions.

Mass Confucian

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Euro crisis: abandon ship.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

Reporter on Aleppo