Connoisseur Conundrum T-Shirts

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Sculptor's chippings

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

Joke traffic signs.

'This box usually yields one or two sensible suggestions,four or five stupid ideas,ten to twenty immoral suggestions and several hundred candy wrappers.'

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"