Critiquing Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Quit judging me."

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"My kid could do that."

Sculptor's chippings

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

Barbed Pen

"My bouche was not amused."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"He's a mental-health critic."

"It's too academic."

Film Critic

'... And that's all from this bulletin. But I'll be back with more bad news at six.'

Comment on food.

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

Crazy Ideas

Algernon Swinburne

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'