Connoisseur In Disguise T-Shirts

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Totalitarian Humour

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Imagine

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"Cat got your tongue?"

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

Mass Confucian

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"I'm working on a watercolor."

Blue wine

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

Joke traffic signs.