Off-key Connoisseur T-Shirts

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Imagine

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"There goes our early night."

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Moliere

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

Silly News.

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

"She gets her musical ability from me."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Yeah, but this is a cat on a skateboard being arrested by a cop with a tattoo of the Confederate flag!"

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

Blue wine

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"I'm working on a watercolor."

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."