Off-key Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Can you play something the neighbor's dog doesn't know?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Imagine

"There goes our early night."

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Charles Dickens.

"She gets her musical ability from me."

Bleak House

"Yeah, but this is a cat on a skateboard being arrested by a cop with a tattoo of the Confederate flag!"

C Day Lewis.

Silly News.

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"Cat got your tongue?"

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

Blue wine

"I'm working on a watercolor."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Sergei Rachmaninov

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'