Off-key Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

"Gracie, that was a beautiful song...until you started playing it."

"She gets her musical ability from me."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

Hush puppy.

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

Clandestine cows.

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

"I'd like to make a return."

'I'll do half of it.'

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

"Come at me, Bro!"

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Man wearing t-shirt - 'Apathetic but don't care'.

"I've got a little job for you, Kretchmer. I want you to infiltrate the I.R.S. and sow the seeds of compassion."

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

Free Little Library

"Era un gato grande... Que hacia ro ro..."

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."