Off-key Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

"Gracie, that was a beautiful song...until you started playing it."

"She gets her musical ability from me."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Hush puppy.

Use your imagination.

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

Clandestine cows.

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

Peace on Earth

"I'd like to make a return."

'I'll do half of it.'

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

"Come at me, Bro!"

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Man wearing t-shirt - 'Apathetic but don't care'.

"I've got a little job for you, Kretchmer. I want you to infiltrate the I.R.S. and sow the seeds of compassion."

Free Little Library

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."