Comeback Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Here's you book of snappy comeback lines. Ah, these are a few of my favorite zings!

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

Bathroom Fairy

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

Moliere

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

C Day Lewis.

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Charles Dickens.

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

Pizza and Related Searches.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."