Comeback Connoisseur Gifts

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Bathroom Fairy

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

Moliere

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

'Brilliant! Iconic 20th century imagery dripping with 21st century sarcasm.'