Title Connoisseur Gifts

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Bathroom Fairy

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

Time Machine Collision.

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

S**t Threw a Goose

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

Bleak House

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Charles Dickens.

C Day Lewis.

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

Social Media Strategy Session. The more friends and family people see on our site, the personal information they'll post. Familiarity breeds content!

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

"It's 3D 4K HD - ideal for my old silent movie collection."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

Milla Jovovich

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

Sergei Rachmaninov