Film Connoisseur Gifts

Time Machine Collision.

"It's a great film. It's quite sad though, they all die in the end!"

"I wouldn't eat that if I were you. I heard there was a recall."

Milla Jovovich

"It's 3D 4K HD - ideal for my old silent movie collection."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

hard-boiled egg...

'He likes to power nap.'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Emergency Phone.

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

The Snarky District