Classic Film Connoisseur Gifts

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'My head's in the shop, this is just a loaner.'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Housekeeping?!"

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

Did you ever get that feeling in the moonlight?

"You funnin' me, bub?"

The Scarecrow Gets A Brain From Igor

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Film Lovers.

"Homes on Holmes"

Queen Kong

I'm Spartacus.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."