Film Connoisseur Prints

"It's a great film. It's quite sad though, they all die in the end!"

"I wouldn't eat that if I were you. I heard there was a recall."

"It's 3D 4K HD - ideal for my old silent movie collection."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'He likes to power nap.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

hard-boiled egg...

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Night of the Latkes

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

The Snarky District

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Emergency Phone.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'