Narrative Connoisseur Gifts

"It's a sort of 'popular-attractive-kid-from-well-to-do-stable-family-succeeds-against-all-odds' story."

Reading my Critics

hard-boiled egg...

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Men gossiping

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

Bathroom Fairy

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Zora Neale Hurston

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Jackson Pollock as a child

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

S**t Threw a Goose

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

Barbed Pen

Charles Dickens.

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

White Wine Wisdom (2)

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Bleak House

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

C Day Lewis.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'