Narrative Connoisseur T-Shirts

"It's a sort of 'popular-attractive-kid-from-well-to-do-stable-family-succeeds-against-all-odds' story."

Reading my Critics

hard-boiled egg...

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Men gossiping

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Bathroom Fairy

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Jackson Pollock as a child

S**t Threw a Goose

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Moliere

White Wine Wisdom (2)

Barbed Pen

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'