"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."
Return Connoisseur Gifts
Searching for the ideal gift for someone who takes pride in their return skills? Our collection celebrates the arts of exchanging, returning, and perfecting items. Whether they're a seasoned return connoisseur or just love the thrill of the swap, find humorous and thoughtful products that speak to their passion for the return process. From clever mugs to stylish prints, our selection is designed to delight and amuse anyone obsessed with making the most of every trade.
"Stock options for your thoughts."
Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'
Man frozen in portrait pose.
"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"
Moliere
Bleak House
C Day Lewis.
Charles Dickens.
"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"
" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."
"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."
'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'
At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.
Pizza and Related Searches.
A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.
Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.
'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'
Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.
'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'
The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark
"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."
Sock Without Partners Sock Hop
"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."
When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!
Sergei Rachmaninov
Employee Benefits
"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."
Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!
"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."
"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."
"Bargain hunters!"
"Here's a blues number I wrote anout paying my dues with the cash back I got on my platinum card."
"Nice abs!"
War And Peace?/The Catcher in the Rye?/Citizen Kane?/Jaws?
Return Connoisseur Gifts Collection
Return Connoisseur Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs celebrating return connoisseurs—perfect for adding a touch of humor to their morning routine.
Return Connoisseur Pillows
Discover pillows featuring humorous quotes about returns—adding personality and comfort to their favorite space.
Return Connoisseur Prints
Browse our stylish prints that humorously honor return connoisseurs—an ideal gift to brighten their home or office.
Return Connoisseur T-Shirts
Check out our witty t-shirts designed for return enthusiasts—ideal for casual wear and showcasing their passion for the art of trading.