Small Talk Connoisseur T-Shirts

"How's your old lady?"

Silly News.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Men gossiping

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"You do something about Human Rights and trade or...or....or..."

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"Cat got your tongue?"

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"Hold that afterthought!"

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

'This is our real-time chat room.'