Small Talk Enthusiast T-Shirts

"He's surprisingly good at small talk."

'Remember, our hosts are from a swing state, so no political babble or they may snap!'

Woman asks: 'And what do you do?' Man's placard reads: 'I'm in advertising.'

"Hi, I'm Mike, and this somebody standing next to me."

"Is that a Mid-Atlantic accent?"

"People used to think of Miriam as zany. Later, she was generally perceived as kooky. Now, I'm afraid, the consensus is that's she's flaky."

"I blame the government for everything. What do you do?"

'I 'ad that bomb disposal squad in the back of my cab the other day.'

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

Conversation Topics and Guidelines Approved for this Area...

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"Funny, you don't look hawkish."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'The closest thing we've got is a beautician from Cleveland who says she enjoys small talk.'

Real Reality Television.

'How's your wife?' - 'Relevant to what?'

"So, … do you prefer possum or opossum?''

"Oh, how I miss systematically misinformed and distorted opinion..."

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

'I'm sorry, I don't know how you can justify that. Pantheism is a ridiculous idea!'

'Could we talk about something you don't care about?'

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm the guy who invented CliffsNotes."

"I grew up in St Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever-since, but sure, I guess technically I'm 'from' the Black Lagoon."

Hi. How's it goin'? Good, you? 'Sup. Hey. Hello. The Primordial Schmooze.

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

Silly News.