Connoisseur In Disguise Gifts

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Totalitarian Humour

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Imagine

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"Cat got your tongue?"

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

Mass Confucian

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

"This must be the Campaign Trail."

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

Blue wine

"I'm working on a watercolor."