Connoisseur Conundrum Prints

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Sculptor's chippings

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"Cat got your tongue?"

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

Joke traffic signs.

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

'This box usually yields one or two sensible suggestions,four or five stupid ideas,ten to twenty immoral suggestions and several hundred candy wrappers.'