Cone Of Shame Observer Pillows

'I had a basketball-sized tennis ball removed from my stomach... I bet you can't top that!'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Dog wearing a cone

"Fill it up!"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

The First Cone of Shame.

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

'No need to shout.'

Trump attempting to pull down the thinker

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

Puppy Love

They say I get 152 channels.

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

'Great fireworks! Reminds me of the coach after we lost the game!'

'Don't hop around a mite disconcerted - dive, and writhe in agony!'

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

'Get out of the way, you drunken mime!'

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

"No, I'm not wearing a black sweater. My black cat sheds a lot."

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

'I'm sure that once the 'new hire' stigma fades, they'll warm up a bit,,,'

Sorry. Forgot about the cone.

'Ironically, he had vertigo.'

"I'd lay off the booze, mate."

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

Keep coming … keep coming … a little farther … Ok, ok, stop, you're good right there.