Cone Of Shame Sympathizer Pillows

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

Puppy Love

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Dog wearing a cone

Grounded

"Fill it up!"

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'No need to shout.'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

They say I get 152 channels.

'Checkmate!'

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

"Laugh if you want, but I have my phone in here."

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

Football Sisyphus

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

'I'm happy to say that both parties agree on the issue. It's got bi-partisan non-support.'

'I can really empathise with the basketball hoop.'

'Well that's what you get for picking your scab. . .'

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

'I had a basketball-sized tennis ball removed from my stomach... I bet you can't top that!'

"Brian says in 1976 we just got on with it."

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

"Really? You're going to use that to catch candy?"

"They say I get 152 channels."

'Were you out drinking last night?'

"Just what I like: the tall and silent type"

The Cone Ranger