Cone Of Shame Club Pillows

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"Fill it up!"

Dog wearing a cone

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized we need a vacation.'

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'No need to shout.'

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

They say I get 152 channels.

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

Puppy Love

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

"Sure, it's disgusting, but it's nice to have something that needs me."

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

'I had a basketball-sized tennis ball removed from my stomach... I bet you can't top that!'

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

"But now you're free - free like our bold forebears to seek your fortune in the untamed wilds."

"They say I get 152 channels."

'Were you out drinking last night?'

"Just what I like: the tall and silent type"

'I'm on the list.'

"It's okay, there's no need to shout!"

No smoking.

"These are a couple of specialised clubs for players with a 'fuller figure'"