Cone Of Shame Connoisseur Pillows

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"Fill it up!"

Dog wearing a cone

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

Totalitarian Humour

Dog Walker

Shaved Ice

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

'No need to shout.'

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

"Fill it up!"

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

Puppy Love

Confession Ratings.

They say I get 152 channels.

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

'I'm told they even eat our arthritic knuckles.'

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

'And to his son, he has left his Leprosy.'

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

Man deciding which hat to wear

American Evolution

"Forgive me, Father ... I forgot to take my Beano."

An English of eccentrics