Cone Of Shame Connoisseur Pillows

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Dog wearing a cone

"Fill it up!"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

Dog Walker

The First Cone of Shame.

Totalitarian Humour

Shaved Ice

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'No need to shout.'

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

"Fill it up!"

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

"This must be the Campaign Trail."

They say I get 152 channels.

Confession Ratings.

Puppy Love

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'I'm told they even eat our arthritic knuckles.'

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

Man deciding which hat to wear

American Evolution

"Forgive me, Father ... I forgot to take my Beano."

'And to his son, he has left his Leprosy.'