Cone Of Shame Champion Pillows

"Fill it up!"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

Dog wearing a cone

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

The First Cone of Shame.

Family working together

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

'No need to shout.'

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"Hey, the last thing I want to do is annoy you. That's actually ninth on my to-do list."

"The last time we ordered take-out I was up all night doing laundry."

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

Dating Agency: "I am looking for a man whose hobbies are, washing up, dusting and ironing."

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

They say I get 152 channels.

Puppy Love

"Yes, I can multi-task. Why do you ask?"

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

"I'm helping Mom wash the dishes."

"What setting do I use for this?"