Cone Of Shame Jokes Pillows

'No need to shout.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Dog wearing a cone

"Fill it up!"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

The First Cone of Shame.

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

They say I get 152 channels.

Puppy Love

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

Coathooks.

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

'Honey, does the wild pig that I swallowed whole for lunch make me look fat? No, dear, it's just the lighting.

'Me, I weigh myself in the water: I get a better reading...'

'I went off my diet... it was a piece of cake.'

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

Sorry. Forgot about the cone.

'I had a basketball-sized tennis ball removed from my stomach... I bet you can't top that!'

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

'This is amazing. Most of his bones are porous, with the exception of his skull, which is thick as a brick.'

"Methinks this breastplate doth make me look fat."

Keep coming … keep coming … a little farther … Ok, ok, stop, you're good right there.

"You're right, you can hear the ocean."

"Really? You're going to use that to catch candy?"