Cone Of Shame Jokes Gifts

'No need to shout.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Dog wearing a cone

"Fill it up!"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

They say I get 152 channels.

Puppy Love

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

Coathooks.

'Honey, does the wild pig that I swallowed whole for lunch make me look fat? No, dear, it's just the lighting.

'Me, I weigh myself in the water: I get a better reading...'

'I had a basketball-sized tennis ball removed from my stomach... I bet you can't top that!'

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

'I went off my diet... it was a piece of cake.'

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

'This is amazing. Most of his bones are porous, with the exception of his skull, which is thick as a brick.'

"You're right, you can hear the ocean."

"Really? You're going to use that to catch candy?"

"They say I get 152 channels."