Cone Of Shame Camaraderie Pillows

"Now you know how it feels."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"Fill it up!"

Dog wearing a cone

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

Workplace Shinanigans

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'No need to shout.'

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

They say I get 152 channels.

Puppy Love

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

Witch Rowing Team

'They were in Vietnam together. Then they went into business together, retired together, and now they're on the doldrums together.'

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

'Hard morning, Patricia?'

"Thats for missing the bunt sign!" "Yeah, and that's for striking out on ball four, you loser!"

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

'I had a basketball-sized tennis ball removed from my stomach... I bet you can't top that!'

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

Can we have our ball back please?

"Just what I like: the tall and silent type"