Cone Of Shame Survivors Pillows

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Dog wearing a cone

"Fill it up!"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

The First Cone of Shame.

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'No need to shout.'

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

Puppy Love

They say I get 152 channels.

"Laugh if you want, but I have my phone in here."

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

"For goodness sake, I don't need to do a new risk assessment each time I cut a new tree..."

Sock hell

Showering in winter.

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

Dance of the Inconsistent Water Temperature

Sorry. Forgot about the cone.

'Well that's what you get for picking your scab. . .'

'I had a basketball-sized tennis ball removed from my stomach... I bet you can't top that!'

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

Disgraced sports hero image rehab.

Keep coming … keep coming … a little farther … Ok, ok, stop, you're good right there.

'Were you out drinking last night?'

'Women? No, I joined up to forget fifteen men, the English Rugby team.'

"Just what I like: the tall and silent type"

'You're smoking like a bastard tonight.'

He didn't have surgery. He's just ugly.