Cone Of Shame Experts Pillows

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Dog wearing a cone

"Fill it up!"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'No need to shout.'

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

Puppy Love

They say I get 152 channels.

"Laugh if you want, but I have my phone in here."

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

"Jeez, Charlie. . . as if the cone isn't humiliating enough!"

'Well that's what you get for picking your scab. . .'

'I had a basketball-sized tennis ball removed from my stomach... I bet you can't top that!'

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

"Really? You're going to use that to catch candy?"

"They say I get 152 channels."

'Were you out drinking last night?'

"Just what I like: the tall and silent type"

The Cone Ranger