Cone Of Shame Experts Gifts

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Dog wearing a cone

"Fill it up!"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

The First Cone of Shame.

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'No need to shout.'

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

They say I get 152 channels.

Puppy Love

"Laugh if you want, but I have my phone in here."

"I'll take it off if you promise not to pick at the stitches."

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

"Jeez, Charlie. . . as if the cone isn't humiliating enough!"

'I had a basketball-sized tennis ball removed from my stomach... I bet you can't top that!'

'Well that's what you get for picking your scab. . .'

"The Johnsons tend to keep themselves to themselves..."

Sorry. Forgot about the cone.

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

"Really? You're going to use that to catch candy?"

If you're going to scream every time a kid yells cannonball, you're not coming with me anymore.

Keep coming … keep coming … a little farther … Ok, ok, stop, you're good right there.

"They say I get 152 channels."

'Were you out drinking last night?'

"Just what I like: the tall and silent type"

He didn't have surgery. He's just ugly.