Communication Avoider Gifts

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

Email Notifications

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Nervous at a party.

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

An agony of aunts

The things some people do to escape from McDonald's advertising.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

'I hate networking.'

Not in the mood for human interaction line

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

'Thurlow, the difference between you and me is that I was smart enough not to take my own advice.'

"I've finally reached the age when the advertising people leave me alone!"

'Vice is one thing but advice is far worse!'

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

"Just more Junk Mail."

Ring. If that me calling, I'm obviously not here.

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.

Lance, I said if it's for me, I'm not here. It's not for you, it's for me. I'm not here, either.

Please stop trying to engage me in conversation, Lars. Can't you tell when a wolverine is engrossed in a book? Sure, that's easy. They move their snouts when they read.

Instead of pretending we're not home, couldn't we just not do video chats?

I came up here because I got tired of being targeted by advertisers.

"This is where I go to get away from reality TV."

"Oh, no! People are coming to sit near us! Put up the banner!"

'Open up Clayton, you knew it was inevitable.'