Communication Avoider Pillows

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

Email Notifications

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

Nervous at a party.

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

An agony of aunts

'I hate networking.'

Not in the mood for human interaction line

'Vice is one thing but advice is far worse!'

'Thurlow, the difference between you and me is that I was smart enough not to take my own advice.'

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

"I've finally reached the age when the advertising people leave me alone!"

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

"Just more Junk Mail."

"Oh, no! People are coming to sit near us! Put up the banner!"

I came up here because I got tired of being targeted by advertisers.

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.

"This is where I go to get away from reality TV."

'Open up Clayton, you knew it was inevitable.'

Right now, he's in his man cave.'