Communication Evaders Gifts

Lance, I said if it's for me, I'm not here. It's not for you, it's for me. I'm not here, either.

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

I.T. Fear

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

New hyper-realistic Star Trek

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"Hello?"

'Dad's cell-phone!! I'm going to call the moon!!'

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

Some emails just can't be ignored.

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

'It's for you.'

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

"Nope. I came here to relax and not check my messages."

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

Trapeze artists.

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

Come back, sir! "Leave room for cream" was a question, not directions.

Stand in the Q.

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"Can we, just for a moment, your Honor, ignore the facts?"

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'How can I think without words?'

"This is where I go to get away from reality TV."

'Open up Clayton, you knew it was inevitable.'

'Ugh...I hate phone solicitors.'

"Bikes! I said bikes! Hello? Hello? Dang! My battery's dead!"