Problem Evaders Gifts

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

I.T. Fear

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'It's a simple two-part strategy. First, locate the hills. Then head for them.'

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

'Anything to get out of taking a bath.'

'As far as I'm concerned...mathematics is a load of rubbish.'

"He's not good with change!"

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

The Ostrich Syndrome: 'Who gets the check?'

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

"How much do we owe them?"

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

'My homework is escaping.'

"Stop it. You're gonna make homework come out of my nose."

Lance, I said if it's for me, I'm not here. It's not for you, it's for me. I'm not here, either.

Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.

By not taking sides and staying as neutral as possible, Bob was safe – and virtually invisible.

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

"Me, I'm not nocturnal by nature, but by choice: I try to avoid human-contact as much as I can..."

"I'm sick and can't come to school today. Do you need a loaner?"

The new, improved "Hide-A-Dysfunction" Slip Cover

"Mr. Rod, my dad wants to clean the garage tomorrow...and he needs me to pack boxes and haul tons of stuff. It'll probably take all day!"

"Cyberspace ate my homework."

I hitched to work...and left early to avoid the traffic.

"You can't say the dog ate your homework, it's really hackneyed. Say your mother is addicted to prescription drugs."