Work Evader Gifts

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

Anger Management - Now Treating "Electoral College Rage"

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

The Daily Commute

Dreaming of Holidays.

The Procrastinatorium.

For workers who are in need of a discreet spot to catch some Z's comes Napquest.

'I keep wondering what they're saying about us at the bank this cold,damp,Monday morning..'

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

"Was delegation the only thing you learnt on that management course?"

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

'I had it all - then the IRS found where I had it hidden.'

"Back to face-to-face working, lad? I think not! Be off home with you!"

'Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death, should be around here at quitting time.'

Bob learned to redirect his pent-up fury. Rather than postal, he went coastal.

"He's not good with change!"

Infernal Revenue Service

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

"How much do we owe them?"

"We've just booked two weeks in the Algarve, could you sign my sick note for when we get back?"

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

'My homework is escaping.'

"Stop it. You're gonna make homework come out of my nose."

"Thank God you're just my wife's lover! I thought you were from the Inland Revenue!"

Fiction: 'Filling in your tax returns'

Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.

'New dog?' - 'Yes, and no more food bills, no vets fees.'

'Can we avoid going through the insurance company.'

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

Financial Advisor. Will you meet expenses this month? Unless I find a really good hiding place.

"I'd like a word with you please."

"He has an unhealthy obsession with health apps."