Effort Evader Gifts

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Binge Watch

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

The four housemen of procrastination

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"Okay, everyone...time to clean up the house. Gracie, what job do you want?"

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

What would it take to get you to start running? Frankly, doctor, it would take someone chasing me.

"He's not good with change!"

Man to lady regarding 'Resistance Exercises' book: 'No thanks. I've been an expert on resisting to exercise for 20 years.'

Risks for the heart patient Unloading the Dishwasher "Sorry? No can do." Answering the Land Line R-R-RING! R-R-R-RING! N-nope R-R-RING!!! Doing Taxes "Doc said I should take it easy." Any Car-Related Errand "The old ticker."

The coward's way out.

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

Stand in the Q.

"I got an extension.'

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.

"I have an app that does my exercise for me!"

"Stop it. You're gonna make homework come out of my nose."

Son disappears at the mention of helping out mom.

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

'New dog?' - 'Yes, and no more food bills, no vets fees.'

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

'Can we avoid going through the insurance company.'

Financial Advisor. Will you meet expenses this month? Unless I find a really good hiding place.

"Baldo, I wish you'd help out a little more around the house."

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

"Math scares me so much I can't even add it to my list of anxieties."

"No, Harry, shaking ketchup on your burger and chips twice a day cannot be counted as exercise."