Elevator Evader Gifts

The coward's way out.

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

"Just so you know, if this elevator breaks down, I have no problem cannibalizing your body for my survival."

'OK, it moved a little, but I can't do this all on my own. Teamwork, people. We all need to bounce at the same time.'

Man to lady regarding 'Resistance Exercises' book: 'No thanks. I've been an expert on resisting to exercise for 20 years.'

"He's not good with change!"

'Only six more floors to my cubicle.'

"You know, on second thought maybe I'll take the stairs."

Stand in the Q.

"I got an extension.'

"I have an app that does my exercise for me!"

'Mom, what are 'stairs' for?'

Hotel Stay

"I'm starting a fitness program. Since we work on the 90th floor, I'm nor requiring all employees o use the stairs."

North South.

'New dog?' - 'Yes, and no more food bills, no vets fees.'

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

"Math scares me so much I can't even add it to my list of anxieties."

"Not now—I'm cooking to avoid intimacy."

'Taking your dog for a 'walk'...Helps to keep you fit!'

"Yesterday I got out at the wrong floor and worked a full day for a firm I'd never heard of..."

Elevator reads 'Up 'Down' and 'Other options'

'I know it's healthier but I climbed the stairs yesterday and when I finally reached the very top office, working time was already over!'

"If you thought the Trump tower elevator ride was tough, good luck surviving the next four years."

Dog in a lift.

"No, Harry, shaking ketchup on your burger and chips twice a day cannot be counted as exercise."