Elevator Escapist Gifts

'Only six more floors to my cubicle.'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

"If you thought the Trump tower elevator ride was tough, good luck surviving the next four years."

"You know, on second thought maybe I'll take the stairs."

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

'Okay folks, this is as high as we go.'

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

"I didn't see anything! I swear!"

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

"We didn't have these cushy escalators when I was a calf. No siree. We had to jump. And I still have the scars to prove it. Wanna see 'em?"

'Tell me if this hurts.'

'OK, it moved a little, but I can't do this all on my own. Teamwork, people. We all need to bounce at the same time.'

Message In Bottle In Bottle

'Elevator'

I'm earlier than usual this evening due to an elevated level of chatter at home.

"You're a very lucky man, Mr. David. Your insurance covers it."

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

The coward's way out.

'I'm waiting until someone develops a Weapon of Mess Destruction.'

"It's a Bermudez New Year's tradition! While adults reflect peacefully on the previous 12 months...the children clean the entire house."

"I'm starting a fitness program. Since we work on the 90th floor, I'm nor requiring all employees o use the stairs."

'Don't worry, I'll get us out of here.'

Hotel Stay

"I'm tired of being micromanaged."

North South.

'Not again!...'

Man funneling the wide spray from his shower

"Yesterday I got out at the wrong floor and worked a full day for a firm I'd never heard of..."

Mind your step!