School Evader Gifts

"I'm sick and can't come to school today. Do you need a loaner?"

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

Serious Putty

Anger Management - Now Treating "Electoral College Rage"

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

Cunning as a Fox hey? Well, I saw you cheating Mister! D-Minus!

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

'A Mr Ritzwell to see you, sir. Are you in, or are you using the escape tunnel?'

Please wait to be yelled at.

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

Last day of school.

Bank Student Loan Dept. You're only repaying a small fraction of your student loans? Yeah, because at this point I've forgotten almost everything I learned in college.

Abandon claculators all ye who enter here.

Inattentive Boy

Jimmy Green won't be at school today, this is my father speaking...

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

Spring Painter

'My daughter can't come to school today - I have a hot nose!'

You're too young to be worrying about SAT tests. But I have to score well to get a good job someday. In the real world, no one hires people who're only good at multiple choice questions. Actually, Nana

'It's great to be a ventriloquist. I find that I can still talk in class, but I don't get in trouble.'

"I have a prescription for my test anxiety."

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

One thing I'll always be thankful for is that I got here before there were any SATs.

"We had to clean out our desks today, so I cleaned out my brain while I was at it."

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

"Stop it. You're gonna make homework come out of my nose."

'My homework is escaping.'