Classroom Escapee Gifts

"It's the last day of school! It's the only day of the year where I'm not expected to learn anything!"

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Computer Class.

I will not waste chalk kid...

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'Did I throw which spitball?'

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

Last day of school.

"I realize Kyle was looking at your answers, but that doesn't mean you can sue him for theft of intellectual property."

"You said you wanted me to show you a better school report..."

"Sorry, no more room. What a shame, I’m the teacher."

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

'My daughter can't come to school today - I have a hot nose!'

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

One thing I'll always be thankful for is that I got here before there were any SATs.

"I like coming to school. It's the seven hours before I go home that are unbearable."

More velocity, less wing area Jeffery.

"We had to clean out our desks today, so I cleaned out my brain while I was at it."

'Why can't we have summer school outside...preferably at the beach?'

'Turns out four score and seven years isn't the length of the school day.'

"Daniel Mitchell bit me. Does our dental plan cover that?"

"Just how early can I take early retirement?"

"I found out where it hurts. It hurts at school."

The 'I'd rather be fishing' prayer.