Classroom Escapists Gifts

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

I will not waste chalk kid...

Back to School

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

Back to school anchor

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

"You said you wanted me to show you a better school report..."

Last day of school.

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

"I realize Kyle was looking at your answers, but that doesn't mean you can sue him for theft of intellectual property."

"In many Latin American countries, Columbus Day is celebrated as 'Dia de la Raza.' In The Bahamas, it's called 'Discovery Day.' In Argentina, it's known as 'Day of the Americas.'"

"Two more days and school's out for summer! No more homework, no more tests, no more teachers..."

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

"Darell is sharing his pet with us today. I'm sure the whole class will find this very entertaining."

"Every day it's the same. My class starts out as Sesame Street and ends up as Jerry Springer."

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

'My teacher has nerves of steel, but that's not strong enough.'

"I like coming to school. It's the seven hours before I go home that are unbearable."

More velocity, less wing area Jeffery.

"This is going to be a fun year."

For days when students are simply out of control, teachers at Callaway Junior High are equipped with ejection seats and parachutes.

"If we could do anything right now...? We'd return to our respective homes and forget we'd ever met."

"Daniel Mitchell bit me. Does our dental plan cover that?"